Commitments do not exist within a vacuum. Brian Klemmer always said, “Context is everything.” It becomes easy to heighten the level of certain commitments when we have a high level of accountability in those areas. What is interesting is where  we choose into that level of accountability. When I look at my life, I can evaluate how healthy I am in terms of my relationships with my word based on how I am treating my agreements. I begin to look at which agreements I am devaluing, underestimating, or breaking all together. I may be more willing to renegotiate those agreements or ask to cancel. When you look at your life, what do you view as a small agreement? Maybe you don’t believe there are big agreements or small agreements, yet based on results there are places you are much more likely to bend to circumstance or blur the lines. Who are the people you do this with? Friends? Family? Yourself? God? Why do you believe you treat your agreements that way with that person or people? What is fascinating to me is that it has always come true in my life; context is everything. This is a lesson I have been taught and trained by every incredible mentor I have worked with. The context of the way I treat my agreements does not exist in a vacuum. Without being able to explain it, the context I set in my life around how I treat my agreements in any and all areas affects any and all areas of my life as it is setting context around agreements in my life. Accountability simply puts a spotlight on our behavior. It yolks one person to another, raises the expectations they have of each other and thus raises their bar of behavior. What if you treated every agreement in your life as if it had a spotlight of accountability on it? Meaning, if you told yourself you were going to workout today, you did it, regardless of who else knew about that agreement you had with yourself. What if when you gave your word, towards anything, you gave it the tenacity towards accomplishment that you would give it if you were in a seminar room? Not feeling like you can do that alone? Not a problem! Find an accountability partner! Someone that you will hold accountable and they will hold you accountable to a high level! You want to play on a high performing team. Now, don’t just tell them about your goals (although that is important too) tell them about the things you haven’t been consistent on keeping your word on lately. Begin to retrain your agreement muscle in that area. Begin to change the evidence you are providing yourself around your word and how much it matters. Begin to see yourself as the compassionate samurai that you are; honest, trusting and committed. At the end of the day, you deserve to look in the mirror and know that you know you are a person of your word. You are that person! You can and you will! Believe in yourself long enough to show yourself that you are trustworthy and capable and experience the liberty that comes with being a person that is impeccable with your word.

Throughout my 40-year business career, there has been a proliferation of books, videos, and training courses on the subject of time management. Any number of experts will take your attention, effort, and money to fulfill the mission of helping you to manage your time. Managing time is as absurd a concept as managing the weather. You can’t control the weather. At best, you can prepare by equipping yourself with an umbrella, a warm coat, or rain gear. Whether you prepare or not, the weather will do what it’s going to do, and whether or not you and I are organized or productive, there will always be 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and seven days each week.   Once we understand that we can’t control time, we face the ongoing challenge of controlling ourselves. Controlling how we utilize time is difficult because we are forever confronted with time thieves. These are the people, activities, and distractions that gobble up our minutes, hours, and days.   It’s important to realize that you cannot judge what is an appropriate utilization of your time unless you have a specific objective and a definite goal. A goal is a dream with a time limit and an action plan. Without a deadline and a plan to reach your objective, you don’t have a goal ;  you simply have a wish. Once you’ve established a firm goal, you can then begin to control yourself and your efforts within the context of your daily schedule. Even after you’ve established a firm goal and an action plan of how to achieve it, the time thieves will not leave you alone. In fact, they may increase their efforts to distract you.   One of the biggest time thieves for entrepreneurs is government paperwork and reporting. This thief is not optional and cannot be avoided, so it should be reduced to a bare minimum and delegated to the greatest extent possible. Without getting partisan or political, I tend to support candidates and initiatives that reduce these burdens on entrepreneurs. Since small businesses create the majority of new jobs and opportunities, government roadblocks impact us all.   There are salespeople, survey takers, casual acquaintances ,  and other people who will call you, send you an email, or drop in while you’re trying to focus on your goals and objectives for the day. You can’t control yourself unless you control these potential time thieves.   As you go through your day today, set your goals, control your activities, and time will reward you.   Today’s the day!   Jim Stovall is the president of the Emmy-award winning Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of more than 50 books—eight of which have been turned into movies. He is also a highly sought-after platform speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082; by email at Jim@JimStovall.com ; or by phone at 918-627-1000.

Do you want to open up possibilities in your life? There are crucial differences between living out of possibility versus probability. Living from probability takes place when you look at what you are capable of and what you have done in the past. From this perspective, you calculate whether you think you can do something and whether you can get incremental, or minute, increases for your life. Living from possibility, on the other hand, is the experience of knowing that you can create incredible results or miracles in your life that have no relationship to what you've done before. When you live from possibility, your future is not tied to the mathematics of your previous experiences and how feasible it is to create something. Everyone has lived from possibility when they created something from nothing whether it was learning to ride a bike, falling in love, or writing a first book. In the case of writing a book, something inside said, "That's possible," when everyone around was saying, "I think you ought to get a nine-to-five job." There's an energy in possibility that's not evident in probability. How do you nurture possibility in your life? Take small steps toward your dreams all the time. Get outside of what you normally would do and be willing to be uncomfortable in new experiences. Be committed to and consistent with it; keep after it. Seeing progress from the steps you take — coupled with believing — creates results. In this sense, there's also a lot of surrender in possibility. This means doing the footwork you need to do, and then turning the rest over to God. You're not quite sure how it's going to happen, but that's not necessary. You only need to believe that it is going to happen. Another way to nurture possibility is to hang around with people who understand this way of life. If you're around people who inhabit the smaller, more calculated world of probability, it's possible to lose your vision or become discouraged. If you want your everyday experience to be, "WOW, this is really possible!" then practice the art of living from possibility. It's a huge, amazing space that creates an exciting and fulfilling life.

I wish I could have… I wish I could do… I wish I could be… Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” That has been absolutely true for me. I also believe comparison is a thief of productivity. Have you found yourself looking at your life and feeling like you don’t measure up? This is so easy to do in a social media age, where everyone is consistently posting the highlight reels of their life. It can be easy to find ourselves thinking our life “isn’t as great” as their life. We find ourselves wishing, wanting and hoping for a reality that we are not living in. The truth is, you don’t even know if they are truly living the life you think they are. This does not only occur in the online world, it also occurs in our day to day interactions. It can become easy to envy what other people have, or are creating. What do you do when you find yourself in an unhealthy form of comparison? How do you shift? When we lust after someone else’s life we miss out on our own. It steals the present moment that is open for us to enjoy to the fullest. The moment you are in will always be better than wishing you were somewhere else. You can not simultaneously long to be somewhere else while being 100% present in the moment you are living. To get you one step closer to where you want to be, what can you do with what you have and where you are? Avoid comparison to what someone else may be creating. What is the vision for your life by your design in alignment with who you were created to be? You can use this to motivate you or you can allow this to stifle you. Comparison that runs unchecked is an issue. There are other directions in which we may compare ourselves. Have you ever found yourself comparing your life to someone else’s in a way where you’ve gotten all up on your high horse because you do more than they do? Sometimes when we compare ourselves to others, we can begin to allow our ego to inflate what we create because of how we perceive it compares to others. This is just as false of a reality as comparison is in the other direction. Jim Stovall brilliantly said, “Every time you think you have arrived you are just comparing yourself to the wrong people.” I don’t know about you, but when I compare myself I lower the standard I have for myself. I justify and defend my limitations instead of my capabilities. I lower the bar. We sometimes give ourselves a way out by playing the game of life below what we are capable of. The problem with both of these forms of comparison is; you can’t see someone else’s life from all angles. You do not have the elevation to know everything that is going on behind the scenes. Just because someone else is doing something, it doesn’t mean it is working for them. It also doesn’t mean they are producing the life you say you want. Many times people want to trade one area of their life for one area of another person's life. One slice does not represent the big picture. They want the result without the journey. The result isn’t sustainable without the muscle it took to get it. What did they walk through to get there? What do they deal with as a result of that opportunity? The only standard that actually allows you to gauge your progress is: you compared to you. I don’t know that we can ever fully release ourselves from comparison. Intrinsically, we are judgmental beings. And, if that is the case, ensure you are comparing yourself to the right people. All that being said, I do believe that we can keep our comparison in check. We can become aware of our feelings and emotions in such a way that we can make conscious choices with our comparisons instead of allowing them to run on autopilot. An incredible tool to leverage when dealing with comparison is a tool we teach in Personal Mastery called Fact/Meaning. If you have not yet taken the opportunity to attend Personal Mastery, allow this to be your encouragement to get yourself to a workshop so you can leverage the tools you will receive there. Kimberly Zink often speaks to the power of being able to look at 1 situation 5 different ways. What if every time you compare yourself to someone else, you could look at the same situation from 5 different vantage points? Wouldn’t you experience more liberty and freedom? My life has become infinitely better after I accepted my personal judgement of myself and others do not have to create my reality. Every day we all have the God given gift of choice, how will you use it today?

We at Klemmer are thankful for all of you and want to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! You are the blood that pumps through the heart of this company. Every testimony you have shared has filled someone at Klemmer up to keep pressing on. Bigger than that, the results you are producing are making the world a better place, and for that we are grateful. As the holiday season is upon us, there are many opportunities to celebrate and sometimes, there are opportunities that may try to disrupt your peace with the hustle and bustle of the season. Don't let anything infect your peace. We've compiled 12 different Klemmer tools this holiday season. Serving as reminders and encouragement for you to continue to BE from a place of peace and continue on with the dreams and goals within your heart. Continue reading on for our list of 12 tools. We have been posting daily on our social media platforms for each individual tool (you can follow us @klemmerseminars on Instagram and on Facebook to stay connected). On the first day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...One life by intention! We define "Intention" as your most deepest, most passionate commitment. Intention is not will power. Will power comes from the conscious mind, or head. What are you committed to this holiday season? What kind of life are you committed to create in this new year? Remember the Million Dollar Formula: Intention + Mechanism = Results! On the second day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Two islands! We also refer to the two islands as the Illusion of Separateness vs. the Reality of Oneness. The reality is; we are all connected.   If we can set our judgement aside, we are one step closer to living in a world that works for everyone with no one left out. Where are you seeing yourself as separate from others? Disconnected or different? On the third day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Three ways to raise your intention! 1) Bold declaration Find an accountability buddy. The more people you declare your goal to the better. 2) Risk One way to up your intention is to put something at risk. Choose something that you are not okay with losing, and if you do not hit your goal that is the price you will pay. The focus here is for you to do whatever you can do to achieve your goal and not pay a price. Understand we are NOT saying to put yourself in a situation that could physically or emotionally harm yourself or other individuals. 3) Visualization Your subconscious is already seeing a picture of the current reality. To achieve your goal you must combat that image. Create a rhythm of imagining seeing yourself achieving your dream. Allow yourself to be in the moment. What do you see? How will you feel? What kind of sounds will you hear? Or, create a psychological trigger device. This can be something such as a sticky note on your bathroom mirror that reminds you to visualize your achieved goal every time you see the sticky note. On the fourth day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...4 Criteria to "Be With" "Be with" is a type of listening that allows you to actually listen to what another person is saying, rather than just hearing them. It is listening without any of your filters up. There are four ways to engage in "be with" listening: 1) Be Here Now Simply be present in the moment. An example of being present in the moment is not thinking about what you had for lunch while someone is talking, nor is it trying to figure out how to respond before they have even completed speaking. Being present in the moment can take practice but it is worth it. 2) Notice Your Feelings Notice what your feelings are, that are simultaneously occurring, around what is being said. This allows you to recognize what is going on for you, and put it to the side to become fully present again. 3) Clean Sheet Clean sheet is sweeping the judgment from your mind. Things are always going to come up for you while you are engaging with others. This practice of "be with" listening is just training yourself on coming back to the present with the person in front of you as often and quickly as you can. 4) Ask Why Let your heart go on a hunt for why you are feeling the way you are feeling. This will also help you in discovering sunglasses attached to those feelings. On the fifth day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Five hundred year vision! Brian Klemmer had a 500 year vision. In 1995, Brian Klemmer had a vision to create a world that works with no one left out. He began bringing leadership and personal development seminars to people all around the world. Leaders develop the vision of the organization, others, and themselves.Vision is the ability to see with your imagination the potential that the physical eye cannot see. The physical eye sees facts , such as an apple seed sitting in the palm of my hand. Vision sees the potential of the tree it will become and the fruit of that tree, which has seeds and the trees of those seeds, etc. Large visions grow out of little visions. Never underestimate your ability to make a difference. On the sixth day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Six ranch cows! Years ago Brian Klemmer had a vision for a Klemmer retreat center. While he did not see that dream come to life, it remained in the hearts and minds of those he mentored. As of this year, it is finally here in Bandera, Texas after years of dreaming and fundraising. On the seventh day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Seven ways the victim mindset shows up! Two people that have been put in the exact same situation can choose either victim or responsible. It is not about the circumstances; it is always about your response to your circumstances. Coming from a victim mentality will create an experience for you that you are not in control, or that you were exploited. Being responsible is not about whether or not you were victimized, but your outlook on the situation. It is about creating the liberty for you to move forward in your life however you see fit. Here are seven ways the victim mindset may show up: 1) "Shoulda" An example of this is when your self-talk is you or someone else "should have" done something differently. It shouldn't have been this way! Or  I should have said/done ______ (fill in the blank). 2) "Woulda" An example is when your self-talk is that you or someone else "would have" done something different but felt like there was no other choice. I would have done something different but _______ (fill in the blank). 3) "Coulda" An example is when your self-talk is that you or someone else "could have" done something different. I could have said/done ____ (fill in the blanks) instead of _____ ! 4) Have To An example is when you may find yourself saying "I have to" when referring to different activities or responsibilities. I have to do _____ ! 5) Shame Shame creates feelings of inadequacy and over time fosters negative beliefs of one's self-worth. Are there any places in your life shame tries to creep into? 6) Blame Whether it's blaming yourself, other individuals, or circumstances; blame is another way the victim mindset shows up. 7) Guilt Guilt can also create feelings of inadequacy and can reinforce negative self-belief patterns. On the eighth day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Eight ways resistance shows up! When you commit to anything that's significantly bigger than where you're at, your belief systems kick into gear to defend themselves. Resistance shows up. What do most people do when they encounter resistance? They resist resistance. They give up on their goal. They shut down. Instead of resisting resistance, overcome it. Here are eight different ways resistance may show up: 1) Silent Treatment 2) Angry Cleaning 3) Confusion 4) Passive Agression 5) Procrastination 6) Powering Up 7) Avoidance 8) Sarcasm On the ninth day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Nine dots! What are the actual boundaries to you achieving your goals and dreams? There are no limits. There is a puzzle called the "9 Dots". There are 9 dots you need to connect with 4 lines without lifting your pen. The purpose of the puzzle is to challenge us to think beyond any predetermined boundary to find a solution. Take this as encouragement and a reminder today that you are more than capable to achieve your goals and dreams. On the tenth day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Ten traits of the Compassionate Samurai! In life there are two types of people. The first are those who are nice, good-hearted, and compassionate but can’t make much happen. The other kind can make everything happen—they’re the creators, the go-getters, and the aggressive producers in society—however, they’re often self-centered, greedy, and unethical. Brian Klemmer coined the term "Compassionate Samurai" to mean someone with strong values who can absolutely make anything happen and yet whose whole life is about service. 1. Commitment 2. Personal Responsibility 3. Contribution 4. Focus 5. Honesty 6. Honor 7. Trust 8. Abundance 9. Boldness 10. Knowledge You'll notice that all ten codes are character traits. What's exciting for you is that as you integrate them into your life, you'll have the potential for an exponential increase in your growth. On the eleventh day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...Eleven sunglasses! We are going to suggest every choice you make is based on a subconscious belief system that you more than likely don't even know is there. At Klemmer, we call these sunglasses. At its surface, it is a silly analogy, yet the impact it has shapes your reality. Subconscious belief systems are simply ideas that you buy as reality and then operate accordingly. They may or may not be true, yet you operate as if they are true. Here is a list of 11 different sunglasses that people may operate from: 1) "Look good" 2) Perfectionism 3) Scarcity 4) Abundance 5) Self-Sabotage 6) Need to be right 7) Victim 8) Responsible 9) Proactive 10) People pleasing 11) Empathy On the twelfth day of Christmas Klemmer gave to me...1 Fact / 12 Different Meanings! Facts in and of themselves do not have any inherent meaning until meanings are assigned. We make up meanings for everything that happens in life. Begin to realize that you are making the meanings up. Facts are not meanings! They are two separate things. Most people take meanings to be true and believe there could be no other meaning. This is huge! Leaders, on the other hand, recognize that facts do not mean any one thing. How much time would you say that you spend daily in your made-up meaning of a situation? Minutes? Hours? Sometimes the smallest comment can be made and we can create such a meaning around it that it will ruin our entire day Why not make up a meaning that serves you? Something that will help move you forward. Neither meaning is the truth. Save yourself an hour or two today by creating your own fact/meaning relationships. Here is an example of a fact with 12 different meanings: Example Fact: I am the oldest child Example Meanings:  1) I am responsible  2) I am rebellious  3) I am creative  4) I am trustworthy  5) I am a leader  6) I need to be perfect  7) I am an overcomer  8) I am worthy  9) I am loved 10) I must always "have it together" 11) I am visionary 12) I am driven Enjoy this holiday season! We appreciate our Klemmer friends and family.

Do you struggle with holding others accountable? Sometimes I do. One time I was hired to speak at a meeting in Los Angeles, and the woman who organized this function was supposed to recruit two hundred attendees. There were only fifty. At lunchtime she apologized profusely and I responded by telling her not to feel bad. I tried to relieve her guilt. Then I realized that while I succeeded in relieving her guilt, I wasn't helping her to do her best. I wasn't holding her accountable. According to Webster's dictionary, the word accountable means "subject to giving an account, answerable." It's neither good nor bad, and that's why it's done without judgment. Many of us find it difficult to hold others or ourselves accountable. Either we shy away from it completely or when we do hold someone accountable, we do it with judgment. It is possible to learn how to hold others accountable without judgment. In order to do so, it's helpful, first, to become aware of four ways we let others and ourselves off the accountability hook. One way to avoid accountability is by not being honest. Suppose you coach a network-marketer who reports that she made ten phone calls. However, in three instances she only left messages; there were no conversations with anyone on the other end. Or, suppose you invite a prospect to attend a meeting, and he replies, "That sounds pretty good, I think I'll be there." You're so eager to get a "yes" that you're not really honest with yourself; you can tell by his tone of voice that he's not really going to come. In both cases there's a lack of honesty. The second way to shy away from accountability is to give general directions with no agreement from the other party. In our own company we want our facilitators to make plane reservations three to four weeks in advance of travel to hold down costs. But even though I may express my desires, if there's no way for the other party to give feedback about whether they've actually followed through with this request, there's no accountability. Part of holding others accountable is to provide some sort of feedback loop that holds the other person accountable and lets us know they have followed through. Another way we avoid holding ourselves and others accountable is to hide our heads in the sand. An example is a business deal I have with a person involved with one of my books. We agreed he would get a percentage of the Internet income from this book, but I suspect that he may also want a percentage when the book is published in hard copy. Instead of hiding my head in the sand, I need to clarify terms before the book comes out. Fear of appearing harsh is another hindrance to accountability. A friend once told me about a young man who cut her grass. She was afraid to point out spots he missed for fear of appearing mean or hurting his feelings. But after he left, you can be sure she was judgmental! Noticing the ways we let others and ourselves off the hook is the first step toward better results and communication with those we're involved with.

Anyone else feel like overcommitment is a buzzword? Like, in order for someone to protect their peace they have to back down in terms of what they are committed to? I love personal development so much because it takes our everyday lives and turns every moment into an opportunity for discovery. If you have been wrestling with feelings of overcommitment and overwhelm, this month's article is just for you. If you have been to Klemmer’s Personal Mastery workshop then you have seen our analogy of sunglasses. Sunglasses are simply ideas you buy as reality and then you operate accordingly based on those ideas. What are your sunglasses around commitment? When do you commit and why? You have 1,000’s of sets of sunglasses; some that work, some that don’t. In this conversation you want to be in discovery about your sunglasses around commitment. Why do you say yes? If you have a set of sunglasses around a need to be liked or accepted, or a need to please people, you may find yourself committing to things you never wanted to do in the first place - on automatic. Dr. Myles Munroe said, “Yes and No are the two most important words you will ever say.” Are you aware of what you are saying yes to and why? Maybe you don’t relate to that. Maybe you say yes out of pure FOMO. Do you know what FOMO stands for? Fear Of Missing Out. Do you find yourself saying yes out of excitement instead of out of true commitment? Maybe you say yes because you believe it is the right thing to do, the appropriate thing to do, yet you are not enrolled in the true value of the commitment for you. Maybe you have a set of sunglasses that you are the type of person who loves to be seen as busy, because if you are busy you must be important. One step in realigning your life to be one of design instead of circumstance is to do the discovery work to find out why you are saying yes in the first place. Take the time to investigate your feelings and your behavior to discover your sunglasses around commitment. When you discover your sunglasses and address them, you place yourself back in the driver's seat of the choices you are making. Here is the thing, once you have said yes, regardless of why you said yes, finish what you started. Most people I meet that say they are overcommitted want to pull back, and cancel a bunch of commitments to relieve the feeling that they are experiencing. They want to hit the pressure release valve. The reality is, your word is your word. You made agreements. If you are not operating from a place of renegotiation (which gives the other party the ability to say yes or no) then you are just canceling on people who are counting on you. Brian Klemmer says in The Compassionate Samurai, “You are only as good as the last word you kept.” Part of shifting your behavior is paying the prices associated with what your programs (sunglasses) got you into in the first place. The solution to overcommitment is  not cancellation. If all you do is cancel the commitment you believe is creating your feeling of overwhelm, then you will have a temporary relief from the current experience, and you will more than likely immediately recreate the pattern. My suggestion… finish what you started. Stick with your agreements. Stay committed past the point where the feeling of excitement around the agreement has left you. After you are complete on your commitments, reevaluate. If you are unhappy with the results or the pace, restructure your next commitments moving forward. Overwhelm is a choice. This might stink to hear and it continues to ring true. No one can make you feel overwhelmed. You are in charge of your feelings and emotions. Choosing to feel overwhelmed in no way supports you in being productive or at peace. Then why do you choose it? It seems that we believe that if we can get people to co-sign on our overwhelm we will have a great excuse to pull back. We would be justified in backing down. I’m not suggesting that you not honor yourself. And I can’t think of anything more honoring that you could do for yourself than to keep your word with yourself and with others. If you have ever found yourself saying, “My plate is just too full!” Brian Klemmer used to respond with, “Get a bigger plate!” If you want to create more in this world you are going to get to expand the capacity you believe you are capable of carrying. How much do you believe you can lift? For me keeping agreements and expanding capacity is a lot like building muscle. I have worked with a physical trainer off and on over the past few years. In the beginning of my fitness journey I was frustrated that I was not creating the results I said I wanted. I thought I was pushing myself. When my trainer watched me lifting weights he almost immediately instructed me to add more weight. I thought I was lifting all I could and he challenged me to lift heavier. Here is the thing, until I was challenging my muscles to the point I didn’t believe they could do one more rep, until I was willing to test the true limit of my capacity, I wasn’t gaining the full benefit of the exercise. The point where I was actually in growth was the place I wanted to quit. Muscles are interesting in this way… they break down to rebuild. I think our capacity to achieve is similar. We get to truly test our boundaries and stretch in order to dramatically shift our patterns. We get to get to the point of shaking and still push through. I believe this is how we get a bigger plate. It’s not merely a shell game of energy, it is a true rebuilding of our agreements muscle. If you are finding yourself struggling with overcommitment there is good news… you are in the game! Use this article as your tool to complete and reevaluate what you are actually capable of instead of predetermining your limits. Your own excuses are actually your own worst enemy.

In Brian Klemmer's book, The Compassionate Samurai , he addresses ways that you can become the person you want to be. If you visualized the ideal you, how would you look, feel, and behave? It can be helpful to write the details on paper. For instance, how much do you weigh, what is your waist size, what color clothes do you wear? Do you feel confident, joyful, energetic? As a parent, are you patient? As a spouse or partner are you loving and compassionate? Are you a thoughtful communicator? Be specific. Give yourself enough time to list as many characteristics as you can think of. This list may extend over several pages. When you're done, you will have what we call the impeccable eye, the ultimate you. The idea behind this exercise is that each of us visualizes 100 percent of the time. Everybody does it; there's no way around it. And what we visualize is what our lives will be like (to discover what our subconscious sees, all it takes is a look at the reality in our lives). The impeccable eye will give your mind something new to visualize, which will help you move in the direction you want to go. After completing your list, make copies and put the list in prominent places where you will be sure to see it — on the bathroom mirror, on top of the pile in your briefcase, in front of your kitchen sink. At least once a day, read your impeccable eye to reinforce that picture of the ideal you. Another thing you can do is print the impeccable eye onto one or more 3 X 5 cards, laminate them and carry them around in your pocket, purse or car. When you're standing in line at the bank or supermarket, or when you're stopped at a red light, pull out the cards and read them. Or, add the list to a "notepad" app on your smart phone. Again, each of us visualizes 100 percent of the time. Why not give your subconscious something constructive to focus on and move your life in the direction you want to go?

Have you ever had an experience where you felt burned by a relationship? Do you ever feel like you stick your neck out for people and it gets chopped off? Can you accept that people are human and are going to occasionally disappoint you? Your choice is where you go from there. How do you truly live your life as a Compassionate Samurai? Use three of the exercises from Personal Mastery to help you overcome your last heartache. Start by looking at the situation from a responsible place versus from a victim mentality. Responsible not meaning, "I am responsible, so you are not." Responsible also does not mean, "You are responsible, so I am not." Responsible is a viewpoint for everyone to take. So coming from a place of responsible you can look at the facts of the situation at hand, and the meanings you made up around those facts. Create a new meaning that serves you in moving through this situation. Lastly, recognize if you are in the 3R's. If you are there are 3 ways of moving yourself out of the 3R's that you might remember from Personal Mastery; giving, open honest responsible communication, and a fair fight. The pain from relationships is real. However how you choose to move through it makes you Compassionate Samurai. Sometimes I think back to before I went through this work and wonder to myself, "Wouldn't it be easier if I didn't know? I honestly feel like a victim in this situation!" One universal gift we were all given at birth is the gift of choice! That means we never have to be a victim.

Recently I spoke with a woman who divided her time between writing, painting, picture framing, helping others, learning German, as well as taking care of her house and spending time with her husband. No wonder she felt scattered, and in the process of going after so many interests, she'd become a jack-of-all-trades, but master of none. The problem was, this woman's life lacked focus. Focus is one of 10 traits discussed in my book, The Compassionate Samurai. It's the the ability to direct your attention, efforts, or activity at a desired direction or object without being distracted. If you've ever experimented with a magnifying glass and the sun, then you understand what that means. When the sun's energy is directed through a magnifying glass, it can burn a hole in a piece of paper. The same amount of energy is there without the glass, but the results are so different when that energy is focused through the glass. Lack of focus is a problem for a lot of us living in developed countries.  On one hand it's a huge privilege to have the freedom to choose what we want to do with our lives, but that freedom also carries a cost. With the huge number of options available to us, the temptation is to get involved in so many things that we become like unfocused solar energy. How can you avoid that? Start with asking, "What is the point of my life? Why am I here?" You only have so many minutes in a day. Knowing the answers to these questions will help you decide how to spend your time. If an activity doesn't line up with your purpose, then you might want to think twice about taking part in it. Get rid of the good to get the best.  There's such a variety of worthy ways to spend your time, but sometimes you have to say no to good things in order to get the best for your life. An example of this is a math teacher I heard about who was tops in her field. When she had her first daughter she decided to quit her job to stay home with her child. The district where she had worked missed her so much that the administrators offered her a part-time job for full pay, at the school of her choice. This was an offer that was hard to refuse. The teacher took the job. Several months into the new arrangement, however, the woman realized that even though there were many good things about this job, it wasn't the best for her life. She missed spending time with her baby, and the luxury of talking with her husband every night. At the end of the year, this teacher made the choice that lined up with her values; she decided not to renew her contract. The story doesn't end there, though. Eventually this teacher had two more daughters, but unfortunately developed breast cancer. Within 6 years this woman died. Had she not focused on what was most important to her, this family would not have had those 6 years of quality time together. That brings up a third point: live as if every day is your last.  Doing so brings clarity about what is most important to you and helps you gain the red hot results you're after. #klemmer #brianklemmer #klemmerandassociates #klemmer&associates #leadership #focus #growth

Fact/meaning has been one of the most enormous breakthroughs in my Klemmer journey. The notion that I get to choose to create whatever meaning I want, applied to every fact in my life, is absolutely liberating! I have gone back to a few dark places in my life, and re-wrote my own meaning around the situations. But for me, it is the everyday application of fact/meaning that has been such a blessing. How much time would you say that you spend daily in your made-up meaning of a situation? Minutes? Hours? Sometimes the smallest comment can be made and we can create such a meaning around it that it will ruin our entire day. When I truly got a grasp that a fact literally has zero inherent meaning, I started saving an incredible amount of time. Are you still spending time spinning your wheels in a meaning you created? Have you ever noticed that a negative feeling can last so much longer than a positive feeling? Almost as though we are trapped in what we did wrong, and yet need only take a blink of an eye to acknowledge ourselves. Why not make up a meaning that serves you? Something that will help move you forward. Neither meaning is the truth. Save yourself an hour or two today by creating your own fact/meaning relationships.

During the holiday season, we all eagerly or reluctantly try to get into the holiday spirit. This, too often, involves eating, drinking, and spending too much as we overcommit all of our time, energy, and resources. The holidays can be a magical time if we will remember what it's all about, why we're celebrating, and regain a bit of perspective. To this end, I would like to offer a few holiday hints.  Remember the reason for the season . Our family celebrates the holiday on Christmas Eve with a wonderful meal and gift exchange. Before the food is served, my father reads the traditional Christmas story from the New Testament. Although I've heard him read this countless times, I always look forward to it as it sets the tone for our celebration. Find a similar tradition for your family, and you will get the holidays off on the right foot.  Do not over-schedule your time . There are more parties, concerts, and activities than any sane person can possible survive with any degree of sanity. Pick the ones that make sense for you and your family, and politely decline the other invitations. Next year, you may be able to enjoy some of the events you missed this year. It's far better to enjoy one celebration in the true spirit of the season than endure a countless number of commitments.  Do not overspend . If you will think of your most favorite and enduring holiday memories, few of them involve spending a lot of money or having a lot of money spent on a gift for you. The lasting and meaningful holiday experiences involve time, love, and tradition, not maxed-out credit cards. Overspending is a sure way to miss the reason for the season while getting your new year off to a dismal start when the credit card bills come rolling in.  Avoid eating and drinking too much . Many jobs have been lost and careers short-circuited by overindulging during the office holiday party. And those extra desserts you're consuming now will invariably become the catalyst for another annual series of new year's weight-loss resolutions.  Do something for someone else . As in most things, if you're going to get all you can out of the holidays, you must remember it's not about you. The best greetings, gifts, and acts of kindness are often the unexpected and anonymous ones. There are many families that could have a wonderful celebration with your excess food, decorations, and gifts.  I hope you and your family experience the best of the holiday season, and the coming year brings you peace, joy, and success. As you go through your day today, plan your holiday and celebrate. Today's the day! Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082; by email at Jim@JimStovall.com ; on Twitter at www.twitter.com/stovallauthor ; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jimstovallauthor