Sometimes the key piece that we can forget is that resistance in most cases is not external. Most of the time our resistance is within ourselves, battling our own sunglasses. Have you ever thought that the worst things being said to you are the things you say to yourself? How do you overcome internal resistance? Quit resisting it! First, recognize that you are in resistance. Difficulties are part of the process. Keep your eyes open to the fact that resistance to any goal is natural and WILL come up. Second, welcome the resistance. Welcoming it allows us to flow through the resistance instead of becoming frustrated. Third, stay the course. In order to build muscle, you have to keep lifting weights, even when you feel sore. As Brian Klemmer always said, "Nothing great becomes great without overcoming great resistance." Your dreams and goals are worth it.

Who is truly comfortable with receiving feedback? Do only things that make you comfortable move you forward? Get used to receiving feedback, and embrace it, so that you can use it as a tool in your life. Feedback helps us in making course corrections. Someone else's vantage point can enable us to see blind spots in our lives. Feedback can also foster relationships. Opening up lines of communication, through feedback, can allow those around you to feel more connected with you because of your openness to hear them. Unfortunately, we can be resistant to feedback because we tend to confuse feedback with the truth. Also, people can tend to take feedback personally versus seeing it as a view of the situation. If you take feedback personally, you are more likely to defend your current position. Feedback is a way to receive information so that you can make adjustments. Feedback is not an attack on who you are or what you are doing. If you receive feedback from a positive or a negative place, it clouds your vision on how to apply that feedback in your life. If you can truly view feedback from a neutral position you have the ability to use it to your advantage. Also, picture when you have given people in your life feedback. How did you feel when they responded with anger? How did you feel when they responded positively? How would it feel if they were neutral when they accepted your feedback? If your response to feedback is flat, it allows others the space to feel at ease when approaching you. This is a huge win because we want others to feel open to giving us feedback so that we can keep using it as a tool to course correct.

Have you ever just hoped that your life would become normal? That your world would be stable? Have you heard the story of Socrates and Plato? If not, here is an overview: Socrates taught Plato that everything fits into one of three stages. Everything begins at a point of energy from which it expands or grows. This is followed by a period where nothing changes, and finally, it shrinks back to the original point of energy where it began. The first stage is growth, the second is stability and the third is decay. Plato listened politely and then went off by himself to mull over what he had just heard. Walking along the beach, Plato picked up a piece of driftwood to examine it. He concluded that there aren't three stages in life; there are only two. Plato believed that everything is either growing or decaying and that there is no such thing as stability. The piece of wood was undergoing a slow decay on the beach, but he could speed that up by burning it. He could slow it down by shielding it from the elements. No, there is no such thing as stability. Everything is either in slow growth, fast growth, slow decay or fast decay. So if stability doesn't exist, what would you want for your marriage or your family? If everything is in growth or decay, could the illusion of stability mean the slow erosion of those things that you love most? How do you keep yourself on the growth side of this cycle? Recognize which state you are in. In order to change your position you have to first know where you are. If you have classified yourself in decay you can ask the question, "How do start my slow growth?" If you are in slow growth you can ask, "How do I get myself in fast growth?" How do you view change? Do you grasp for the past? Or do you look for the possibility in the midst of the experience? Your view on change will directly relate to where you are in the growth and decay cycle. For more on this subject read Chapter Seven of Brian Klemmer's When Good Intentions Run Smack into Reality.

Most people in the professional development or personal achievement fields would agree that we can control our present thoughts and impact our future success. The idea that we can change our circumstances now and in the future has become universally accepted, but very few people consider the possibility of altering our memories. While we can’t change the past, we can reframe, reconsider, and reevaluate the way we look at it. Very few things in life are either all good or all bad. Even in the worst of times and during the most difficult of circumstances, there are lessons to be learned that can impact who we are and what we do for the rest of our lives. One of my earliest memories as a child was on a Sunday night in 1964 when my parents let me stay up late to watch the Ed Sullivan Show with them. I don’t know that anyone in our family was interested in that show, but on that particular night ,  The Beatles were performing for the first time on national television in America. My parents were not big Beatles fans, but they understood the power of that moment in our culture, and they shared it with me. Throughout the ensuing years, I became a huge fan of The Beatles and their music. Their impact cannot be fully understood unless you consider how revolutionary they were during that point in time. Recently, hundreds of hours of film rediscovered in The Beatles archives. This film was shot over many days while The Beatles recorded one of their last albums. Rumors of the band’s imminent breakup abounded during that time, and it was considered to be a difficult period for these four young men who had grown up together and changed the world. Over the years, the four Beatles and the other people in the studio for those sessions have recalled how uncomfortable and turbulent those recording sessions became. However, when the voluminous amount of film was meticulously reviewed to create a new documentary, it was revealed that, for the most part, those sessions were very positive and upbeat. There were a few brief conflicts, but they had to do more with the creative process than any personality conflicts. The two living Beatles were surprised to discover that the film evidence of those sessions did not match up with their own memories. You and I have the opportunity to look at our past and rediscover a new reality. Failure is fertilizer for future success. As you go through your day today, reconsider your past as you plan for your future. Today’s the day! Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082; by email at Jim@JimStovall.com ; on Twitter at www.twitter.com/stovallauthor ; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jimstovallauthor .

Imagine two men in a village. Both have to walk a mile each way every day to a river to get water for their families. After a month, one man starts working on building a pipe underground to connect the river to his house. For an entire year he expends extra energy working on his pipeline. When he finishes, he has the resource of the water directly to his house, while the second man continues to walk to the river. Are there places in your life where you are living day to day? What are the prices and benefits to that decision? Most people can see the prices, and there are benefits! It takes a ton of additional effort to create a pipeline in your life. For an entire year, the first man spent extra time, money, and physical effort to create something from which he was not yet reaping any rewards. For what in your life are you willing to build a pipeline? Perhaps it is your finances. Sacrificing some of the things in this country believed to be "needs" that truly might be "wants" could create income with which to invest. What about those of us who are not healthy? Sacrificing some of the things that are great to taste, and sacrificing time to work out could be building a pipeline for your future. There are a million examples of places in our lives that we could build pipelines. This week, identify a place in your life in which you can begin building a pipeline. Ordinary people think about the now, extraordinary people invest in the future.

Have you ever had a list of things you know you are supposed to do or you should do that you really don’t want to do? Are there things you choose to ignore due to discomfort? Things you know will move the boat forward in the direction you say you want to go, yet you just keep putting them off? I have those things. Sometimes I get to make tough phone calls. Do you know what I mean by the tough phone calls? The ones where you get to face the conflict head on. The ones that make your stomach turn upside down. The ones where your mind runs 100 miles a minute about what people think about you, self doubt creeps in and you wish you could avoid them completely and pretend they don’t exist? In an effort to justify our avoidance we say something like… “time heals all wounds.” Not really. Time may create enough distance for the initial pain to subside or become normal… yet it doesn’t truly heal. Have you ever found yourself avoiding something that is uncomfortable long enough that it begins to feel irrelevant and then you tell yourself… well now it wouldn’t really be worth the effort to take it head on because it has pretty much dissolved. Or you tell yourself something like it would be reopening a wound unnecessarily. I would just be picking the scab. All the stories we tell ourselves to rationalize not taking action on what we know is the action for our greatest and highest good. Brian Klemmer used to say all the time, “You’ll have one of two things in life. You’ll have reasons or you’ll have results. You won’t have both.” You get to choose. It’s never too late to have the clean up conversation. And pursuing it early will always generate the best fruit. Here’s the thing, your heart will probably beat fast. You will either talk yourself into it or you will talk yourself out of it. Choose to tell yourself a forward moving story about taking the action. Don’t allow yourself to overthink it. Take urgent action now. When you find yourself avoiding something; conflict, conversations, people, projects these things begin to hang over your head and weigh you down. They can even begin to invade the way you view yourself and what you believe you are capable of. They can affect the stature of your heart. Do not allow what you want to avoid to be more important than how you view yourself and the character of who you are. Take action now. You might be experiencing your heart beating fast, your stomach in knots, your palms sweating, maybe even your knees rattling… and you might be currently choosing to call that fear. Those are the physical representations of fear in your body. Those are also the ways excitement shows up in your body. You get to choose what you call that rush of adrenaline. Which serves you in moving forward and taking the action? Here’s what I have found; inaction takes a ton of energy. No matter how we try to sugar coat it… it’s exhausting. So invest in the healing needed to support you taking the action. Do the internal work. Start before you feel ready. Choose and move. I will make you a guarantee that as you begin to take consistent imperfect action on the things you are avoiding in your life you will begin to experience more energy and peace than you currently are. In little ways and big ways you will personally benefit from the shift. The cool part is, many others in your life will benefit as well.

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln What an incredible quote from Abraham Lincoln, so much wisdom in one line. I don't know about you, but when I read this for the first time, I completely agreed. Proper preparation sets you up to win in life. After I read this, I began to think, "How often do I actually execute this level of diligent preparation?" In our society today, we are running at such a fast pace that taking time to plan for a seamless execution could appear like someone is putting off until tomorrow what could be done today. What if we were willing to switch our perspective? What would it be like if we took the time today to sharpen our axes so that the next ten trees we chop down took less time and less effort? Take the time to ask yourself today, where in my life would execution of the task be easier if I took the time to prepare more diligently? What trees in your life are you committed to chopping down with more ease?

Success in life is much like a series of competitive events. We win or lose based on our effort, preparation, and the team we have around us. Shortly after I started my business, I realized I needed to develop an all-star team if I was going to win in the business world. Among others, I needed a banker, an accountant, a marketing specialist, technical people, as well as a great attorney. My father introduced me to one of his best friends ,  who happened to be his lawyer. I was very fortunate that ,  over the next several decades ,  he became my lawyer as well as a great friend. Initially ,  I was excited to meet him because I knew that he had played on one of the greatest college football teams ever assembled. He had been a member of the legendary Oklahoma Sooners football team that had won 47 straight games. This record will likely never be equaled or even approached in the future. Knowing that he had been a part of one of the greatest teams of all time, I assumed he would have a lot of great advice on winning, losing, and defeating opponents. Instead of advising me on becoming a fierce competitor or combatant in the business or legal arena, this gentleman advised me to avoid conflict, create win/win relationships, and resolve all conflicts amicably. He explained that we should enter into agreements that benefit all parties, create contracts that reflect a win/win spirit, and conduct ourselves in ways that would keep us free from conflict and legal entanglements. He taught me and showed me that the best way to win an argument is to avoid it completely. If the terms of an agreement are fair and benefit everyone, and the contract is clear and concise, rarely, if ever, will you have to clean up a mess or invest time, effort, and money in a court battle. While my attorney seemed like a kindly, mild-mannered gentleman, he could turn into a raging lion if our rights were violated or others chose not to honor their commitments. He showed me the higher road available in business that allows us to enter into agreements based on a handshake. The underlying contract simply formalizes what we’ve agreed to and serves as a reminder of the commitments we made. As he passed his 80th birthday, he told me he would be spending less time in the office, so I might want to get another attorney. I explained that, thanks to his sage advice, I needed very little legal counsel because my business conflicts were avoided instead of won or lost. When he passed away, I lost a friend much more than a lawyer. His legacy remains in my life and in my business as I have never sued anyone, been sued, or done business with anyone I couldn’t do business with again. Great attorneys are valuable, and great friends are priceless. As you go through your day today, build your dream team with wise and talented friends. Today’s the day! Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082; by email at Jim@JimStovall.com ; on Twitter at www.twitter.com/stovallauthor ; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jimstovallauthor .

How do you deal with change? Do you resist it? Do you try to ignore it and hope it goes away? Or do you embrace change? If there's one thing that's true, change is here to stay. Picture yourself in a boat, in a vast ocean representing change. If you become fearful and resist the power of the ocean, you're going to get crushed. How can you take the fear out of change and manage it so that you can better flow with it? Picture the boat you're in as the stock market. If the market drops, instead of ignoring or fighting it, the secret is to put up a sail to better navigate the direction you're going. Hoisting a sail means finding a new strategy such as placing a put and a call when you purchase a stock so that you make money even if that stock goes down. You could also switch to a completely different boat. I know of a man who owns an electrical contracting company. He started out wiring houses, moved to commercial work and then found a completely open market: wiring traffic signals and street lights. The owner of this company stayed in the same boat, but was willing to put up sails and change directions. However, success follows success and as competition increases in traffic signal installation, this businessman is looking for other ways to make money, such as importing and exporting to overseas markets. He is looking for new boats to ride in. Another way to take the fear out of change is to ask: what is the worst thing that can happen? When my mentor died unexpectedly years ago, his death brought sudden change to his company. I had a choice to make; I could stay with the company or I could leave. I decided to leave and start my own business. After I made this decision, fears bombarded me. I had about an $8,000 per month overhead at the time. What if I didn't find clients? What if we lost the car? What if we lost the house? I talked to my wife about this and we both agreed. If we did lose the house – which was the worst-case scenario – it would be very embarrassing. But my wife said she was okay with losing the house. If we did, we would just buy a new one. Once I handled the worst-case scenario, I was able to see the opportunities in this decision to go out on my own. I was able to move out of fear and into the realm of possibility. Change is here to stay. How are you going to respond to it? Learning to flow with change and to consider the worst-case scenario are two ways to manage your responses.

Recently, I heard about people undertaking the exercise of drafting a letter they would send to the person they were as a teenager or young adult. Obviously, the concept of sending a letter to oneself decades in the past is absurd and fanciful, but it makes some powerful points and reveals some deep truths. While we are the same person, the ensuing years have hopefully brought us wisdom, experience, perspective, and the elusive element we call maturity. One of the biggest elements I would write about to my teenage self involves priorities. Things that I knew were important, even critical, when I was a teenager ,  have proven to matter very little ,  if at all ,  in the world I live in today. As a teenager, it’s hard to see beyond winning the big game, going on the right date, or being considered cool among all of your friends. Today, as I look back on those issues, it’s hard to remember the big game, the dating drama, and trying to be cool—which I gave up on a long time ago. Once I looked beyond my main priorities as a teenager, I had to consider the aspects of life I overlooked at that time that have proven to be critical throughout the ensuing years and up to this very day. As a teenager, I was certain I would be healthy and live forever regardless of what I did. I was an athlete at the time and was convinced that I could abuse my body without long - term consequences. I think about those decisions, or lack of decisions, on cold mornings when I try to get up and get going through the lingering aches and pains of middle age. While it’s fascinating to consider the things I know now that I wish I’d known as a teenager, the real imperative today is to consider what priorities I’m emphasizing now that may not matter in the future. What aspects of life am I overlooking that will make a difference down the road? Life is a marathon and not a sprint. We want immediate results regarding things that matter to us, and we want to ignore consequences in areas we believe are insignificant. For better or for worse, the way we do anything is the way we do everything. If you do the right thing next and the next thing right, you will build a great life for yourself and those around you. If you only look at the things that matter to you in the here and now, you are ignoring the inevitable truth that someday you will live in a different time and place. As you go through your day today, take actions now that will make you happy later. Today’s the day! Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082; by email at Jim@JimStovall.com ; on Twitter at www.twitter.com/stovallauthor ; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jimstovallauthor .

There are two ways to learn something; emotional involvement and repetition. At Klemmer and Associates we strive to create opportunities at our seminars where you can have an experience with emotional involvement to create a large amount of change in a short amount of time. Repetition is also an effective tool for change. Positive affirmations can be extremely effective. What do you tell yourself about you? Is your self-talk riddled with positive feedback, or overwhelmingly negative? What if you were to declare positive qualities about yourself, or a positive statement about who you are? Could that eventually shift the context of how you see yourself? State your declaration to yourself as many times a day as you can. Repeat it for five minutes in the shower every morning. Write it on an index card and stick it on the dashboard of your car. Post your statement in visible places where you will be reminded of how amazing you are. For some of you this could be one simple word. For others it could be a Bible verse that hits your heart. This week take the positive affirmation challenge!

Do you know your purpose? If not, you're in the company of a lot of other people. Like those other people, you might share a feeling of aimlessness and dissatisfaction with life. Something seems to be missing, and you know there's got to be more. But how does someone go about finding their purpose? Is there a course you can take? A book you can read? Someone you can talk to who can tell you what it is? There is no magic bullet, no step-by-step formula which you can follow to suddenly be able to say "Voila! My purpose!" Instead, finding your purpose is better looked at as a self-discovery process. The answer lies not outside of you in books, formulas, or the opinions of others. The answer lies inside you, by getting connected with your heart. This is a key, because it takes getting out of automatic pilot where you're living unconsciously and going through the motions of life, to living consciously and "being with" yourself. It requires paying attention to your feelings and emotions when you do something in order to notice what you do and do not like. It takes allowing yourself opportunities in order to figure out what really is important to you. Then, when you make choices based on what you learn about yourself, your life will become more focused and effective. You'll find that even when you admire what someone else is doing, you'll know whether or not what they are doing is also for you. At first, learning to live consciously takes intentional effort. It's like driving a stick shift for the first time and having to think about pushing in the clutch while moving the stick into gear, and then moving your other foot off the brake and onto the gas while you let the clutch out. In a similar way we have to consciously think about the things we're so used to ignoring. This can feel a little awkward at first. With practice, though, your ability to pay attention and be with yourself becomes smoother and easier. As you go through this process, it's imperative to learn to trust what your heart is telling you. As we discussed in our last newsletter, this can be scary at first as it takes you out of your head and into your heart, and sometimes beyond logic. You may find yourself questioning, "What if I trust myself and it doesn't work out? But as you act on the things you sense your intuition is telling you, you will build evidence that your intuition is there to correctly guide you, and that leads to having confidence to take bolder and bolder steps based on what your heart is saying. Discovering your purpose also takes ongoing self-discovery work. That's where workshops such as the Klemmer & Associate's Heart of the Samurai come in, a setting which encourages you to explore your purpose. With the help of books, CDs and other workshops, you can replace the belief systems that tell you that you aren't good enough to live out the unique purpose you are here on earth to fulfill, replacing those beliefs with healthy views that open up options for you to live out your dreams. The deeper you go into understanding who you are as a human being, the more likely it will be that your purpose will reveal itself to you. In The Compassionate Samurai, Brian Klemmer wrote that satisfaction is "found in being where you're supposed to be. It's found when you're in alignment with your purpose." If you haven't begun the process of discovering your purpose, determine to make that a priority today.