Do you know your purpose? If not, you're in the company of a lot of other people. Like those other people, you might share a feeling of aimlessness and dissatisfaction with life. Something seems to be missing, and you know there's got to be more. But how does someone go about finding their purpose? Is there a course you can take? A book you can read? Someone you can talk to who can tell you what it is? There is no magic bullet, no step-by-step formula which you can follow to suddenly be able to say "Voila! My purpose!" Instead, finding your purpose is better looked at as a self-discovery process. The answer lies not outside of you in books, formulas, or the opinions of others. The answer lies inside you, by getting connected with your heart. This is a key, because it takes getting out of automatic pilot where you're living unconsciously and going through the motions of life, to living consciously and "being with" yourself. It requires paying attention to your feelings and emotions when you do something in order to notice what you do and do not like. It takes allowing yourself opportunities in order to figure out what really is important to you. Then, when you make choices based on what you learn about yourself, your life will become more focused and effective. You'll find that even when you admire what someone else is doing, you'll know whether or not what they are doing is also for you. At first, learning to live consciously takes intentional effort. It's like driving a stick shift for the first time and having to think about pushing in the clutch while moving the stick into gear, and then moving your other foot off the brake and onto the gas while you let the clutch out. In a similar way we have to consciously think about the things we're so used to ignoring. This can feel a little awkward at first. With practice, though, your ability to pay attention and be with yourself becomes smoother and easier. As you go through this process, it's imperative to learn to trust what your heart is telling you. As we discussed in our last newsletter, this can be scary at first as it takes you out of your head and into your heart, and sometimes beyond logic. You may find yourself questioning, "What if I trust myself and it doesn't work out? But as you act on the things you sense your intuition is telling you, you will build evidence that your intuition is there to correctly guide you, and that leads to having confidence to take bolder and bolder steps based on what your heart is saying. Discovering your purpose also takes ongoing self-discovery work. That's where workshops such as the Klemmer & Associate's Heart of the Samurai come in, a setting which encourages you to explore your purpose. With the help of books, CDs and other workshops, you can replace the belief systems that tell you that you aren't good enough to live out the unique purpose you are here on earth to fulfill, replacing those beliefs with healthy views that open up options for you to live out your dreams. The deeper you go into understanding who you are as a human being, the more likely it will be that your purpose will reveal itself to you. In The Compassionate Samurai, Brian Klemmer wrote that satisfaction is "found in being where you're supposed to be. It's found when you're in alignment with your purpose." If you haven't begun the process of discovering your purpose, determine to make that a priority today.

There are times when open, honest communication and the use of code words and fair fighting may not work to get you out of the 3Rs. This can be the case when the person you feel resentment, resistance or revenge toward is not someone you can openly communicate with. When this is the case, consider giving as the solution to resolve the 3Rs in your life. On pages 50-52 of Brian's first book, If How-To's Were Enough We Would All Be Skinny, Rich, & Happy there is a basic discussion of the importance of giving and the 3Rs. Let's follow that, now, with one example of how giving worked in Brian's life. When Brian left a company he used to work for, they owed him about $16,000 for flight fares and work he had completed as an independent contractor. The owner of the company said, "You're never going to see that money," and then she laughed and added, "Of course we'll pay it; we always pay our bills." The reality was, this company didn't always pay the bills and that was one of the reasons Brian had left in the first place. It was at this point that the resentment began to kick in for Brian. He had worked 18 years to build this multi-million dollar company and now they wouldn't pay him a measly 16 grand! Brian realized that the owner was mad at him because, among other things, she was afraid that he was going to steal the whole company from her when he left. Every time Brian called to ask about the payment, her response was, "Oh, I've already taken care of that, I've talked to the accountant." The truth was, she wasn't going to pay him. Obviously, she was mad at him, and then he became angry. They were both in resistance! Finally -– it only took a year-and-a-half! –- Brian said to himself, "Oops, I'd better start practicing what I preach." Once Brian recognized that he was in the 3Rs, he realized that he needed to give to this woman. But what could he give her? He wrote the owner a letter and said that the $16,000 she owed was now a gift to her. Brian didn't do this to be some goody-two-shoes. Quite honestly, he figured he could make the money back quickly enough. But this situation was costing more than money. It took its toll on Brian creatively. It cost him time. He'd get off the phone with this company and complain to the people around him and that would mess up their creativity. So, when giving to this company freed him from resentment, it brought with it an explosion of energy and creativity -— to himself and the people he associated with. This illustration shows how destructive the 3Rs can be, and how giving can free us from them. Through the use of giving -– along with the other tools of fair fighting and open, honest communication -– we can deal with the 3Rs and enhance the creativity in our lives. How have you freed yourself from resentment, resistance, and revenge?

Most people in the professional development or personal achievement fields would agree that we can control our present thoughts and impact our future success. The idea that we can change our circumstances now and in the future has become universally accepted, but very few people consider the possibility of altering our memories. While we can’t change the past, we can reframe, reconsider, and reevaluate the way we look at it. Very few things in life are either all good or all bad. Even in the worst of times and during the most difficult of circumstances, there are lessons to be learned that can impact who we are and what we do for the rest of our lives. One of my earliest memories as a child was on a Sunday night in 1964 when my parents let me stay up late to watch the Ed Sullivan Show with them. I don’t know that anyone in our family was interested in that show, but on that particular night, The Beatles were performing for the first time on national television in America. My parents were not big Beatles fans, but they understood the power of that moment in our culture, and they shared it with me. Throughout the ensuing years, I became a huge fan of The Beatles and their music. Their impact cannot be fully understood unless you consider how revolutionary they were during that point in time. Recently, hundreds of hours of film rediscovered in The Beatles archives. This film was shot over many days while The Beatles recorded one of their last albums. Rumors of the band’s imminent breakup abounded during that time, and it was considered to be a difficult period for these four young men who had grown up together and changed the world. Over the years, the four Beatles and the other people in the studio for those sessions have recalled how uncomfortable and turbulent those recording sessions became. However, when the voluminous amount of film was meticulously reviewed to create a new documentary, it was revealed that, for the most part, those sessions were very positive and upbeat. There were a few brief conflicts, but they had to do more with the creative process than any personality conflicts. The two living Beatles were surprised to discover that the film evidence of those sessions did not match up with their own memories. You and I have the opportunity to look at our past and rediscover a new reality. Failure is fertilizer for future success. As you go through your day today, reconsider your past as you plan for your future. Today’s the day!

Have you ever had a list of things you know you are supposed to do or you should do that you really don’t want to do? Are there things you choose to ignore due to discomfort? Things you know will move the boat forward in the direction you say you want to go, yet you just keep putting them off? I have those things. Sometimes I get to make tough phone calls. Do you know what I mean by the tough phone calls? The ones where you get to face the conflict head on. The ones that make your stomach turn upside down. The ones where your mind runs 100 miles a minute about what people think about you, self doubt creeps in and you wish you could avoid them completely and pretend they don’t exist? In an effort to justify our avoidance we say something like… “time heals all wounds.” Not really. Time may create enough distance for the initial pain to subside or become normal… yet it doesn’t truly heal. Have you ever found yourself avoiding something that is uncomfortable long enough that it begins to feel irrelevant and then you tell yourself… well now it wouldn’t really be worth the effort to take it head on because it has pretty much dissolved. Or you tell yourself something like it would be reopening a wound unnecessarily. I would just be picking the scab. All the stories we tell ourselves to rationalize not taking action on what we know is the action for our greatest and highest good. Brian Klemmer used to say all the time, “You’ll have one of two things in life. You’ll have reasons or you’ll have results. You won’t have both.” You get to choose. It’s never too late to have the clean up conversation. And pursuing it early will always generate the best fruit. Here’s the thing, your heart will probably beat fast. You will either talk yourself into it or you will talk yourself out of it. Choose to tell yourself a forward moving story about taking the action. Don’t allow yourself to overthink it. Take urgent action now. When you find yourself avoiding something; conflict, conversations, people, projects these things begin to hang over your head and weigh you down. They can even begin to invade the way you view yourself and what you believe you are capable of. They can affect the stature of your heart. Do not allow what you want to avoid to be more important than how you view yourself and the character of who you are. Take action now. You might be experiencing your heart beating fast, your stomach in knots, your palms sweating, maybe even your knees rattling… and you might be currently choosing to call that fear. Those are the physical representations of fear in your body. Those are also the ways excitement shows up in your body. You get to choose what you call that rush of adrenaline. Which serves you in moving forward and taking the action? Here’s what I have found; inaction takes a ton of energy. No matter how we try to sugar coat it… it’s exhausting. So invest in the healing needed to support you taking the action. Do the internal work. Start before you feel ready. Choose and move. I will make you a guarantee that as you begin to take consistent imperfect action on the things you are avoiding in your life you will begin to experience more energy and peace than you currently are. In little ways and big ways you will personally benefit from the shift. The cool part is, many others in your life will benefit as well.

I wish I could have… I wish I could do… I wish I could be… Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” That has been absolutely true for me. I also believe comparison is a thief of productivity. Have you found yourself looking at your life and feeling like you don’t measure up? This is so easy to do in a social media age, where everyone is consistently posting the highlight reels of their life. It can be easy to find ourselves thinking our life “isn’t as great” as their life. We find ourselves wishing, wanting and hoping for a reality that we are not living in. The truth is, you don’t even know if they are truly living the life you think they are. This does not only occur in the online world, it also occurs in our day to day interactions. It can become easy to envy what other people have, or are creating. What do you do when you find yourself in an unhealthy form of comparison? How do you shift? When we lust after someone else’s life we miss out on our own. It steals the present moment that is open for us to enjoy to the fullest. The moment you are in will always be better than wishing you were somewhere else. You can not simultaneously long to be somewhere else while being 100% present in the moment you are living. To get you one step closer to where you want to be, what can you do with what you have and where you are? Avoid comparison to what someone else may be creating. What is the vision for your life by your design in alignment with who you were created to be? You can use this to motivate you or you can allow this to stifle you. Comparison that runs unchecked is an issue. There are other directions in which we may compare ourselves. Have you ever found yourself comparing your life to someone else’s in a way where you’ve gotten all up on your high horse because you do more than they do? Sometimes when we compare ourselves to others, we can begin to allow our ego to inflate what we create because of how we perceive it compares to others. This is just as false of a reality as comparison is in the other direction. Jim Stovall brilliantly said, “Every time you think you have arrived you are just comparing yourself to the wrong people.” I don’t know about you, but when I compare myself I lower the standard I have for myself. I justify and defend my limitations instead of my capabilities. I lower the bar. We sometimes give ourselves a way out by playing the game of life below what we are capable of. The problem with both of these forms of comparison is; you can’t see someone else’s life from all angles. You do not have the elevation to know everything that is going on behind the scenes. Just because someone else is doing something, it doesn’t mean it is working for them. It also doesn’t mean they are producing the life you say you want. Many times people want to trade one area of their life for one area of another person's life. One slice does not represent the big picture. They want the result without the journey. The result isn’t sustainable without the muscle it took to get it. What did they walk through to get there? What do they deal with as a result of that opportunity? The only standard that actually allows you to gauge your progress is: you compared to you. I don’t know that we can ever fully release ourselves from comparison. Intrinsically, we are judgmental beings. And, if that is the case, ensure you are comparing yourself to the right people. All that being said, I do believe that we can keep our comparison in check. We can become aware of our feelings and emotions in such a way that we can make conscious choices with our comparisons instead of allowing them to run on autopilot. An incredible tool to leverage when dealing with comparison is a tool we teach in Personal Mastery called Fact/Meaning. If you have not yet taken the opportunity to attend Personal Mastery, allow this to be your encouragement to get yourself to a workshop so you can leverage the tools you will receive there. Kimberly Zink often speaks to the power of being able to look at 1 situation 5 different ways. What if every time you compare yourself to someone else, you could look at the same situation from 5 different vantage points? Wouldn’t you experience more liberty and freedom? My life has become infinitely better after I accepted my personal judgement of myself and others do not have to create my reality. Every day we all have the God given gift of choice, how will you use it today?

One of the most important elements for personal or professional success is congruence. In this context, congruence refers to consistency and a sincere, genuine understanding of ourselves both publicly and privately. I have the privilege of speaking to millions of people in corporate and arena events. I have written over 40 books with 10 million copies in print. Each book contains my contact information. Millions more people have seen one of the eight movies based on my novels, so you can imagine how many people around the world I hear from on a regular basis. Most of these people describe being committed to improvements in their lives. I believe the vast majority of these people are sincere in their intentions, but the critical question remains: Are they sincere in their actions? I realize while someone is listening to a speech, reading a book, or watching a movie, it is easy to become inspired and motivated; but the true test is how they are acting in 30 minutes, 30 days, or 30 years. True transformation comes when we couple our immediate intentions with our long-term actions. Many people have formal goals or objectives. They may have action plans involving getting from where they are to where they want to be, but unless or until that commitment becomes functional, it is all simply a matter of conversation. I often ask people to describe their most deeply-held, long-term goals and passions. Then I ask about whether or not their observable actions on a daily basis would reveal their goals or passions to a stranger. Setting a goal and failing to follow through can be counterproductive or even destructive. It is, in essence, telling a lie to yourself and accepting it. If you will lie to yourself, you will lie to everyone around you. Being congruent means we are who we say, and anyone can trust who we say we are. I remember a young man who lived in my dormitory during college. He told everyone who would listen that his goal was to go to a prestigious law school and then have a long judicial career culminating in him being appointed to the Supreme Court. This sounded very impressive to most people, but I lived down the hall from him and passed his room as I went to class each morning. More times than not, he chose to sleep through his classes and didn't even make it to the end of his first semester. If you have had challenges with congruency in your personal or professional life, you need to rebuild your own integrity by picking a relatively small short-term goal and making it happen. If you decide to get up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow and read, exercise, or meditate, you can build on that success and become congruent in your large objectives and in every area of your life. As you go through your day today, say what you're going to do, but do what you say. Today's the day!

How are you enrolling people? I get to work in enrollment in so many areas of my life. There is a lesson I learned from my mentor, Kimberly Zink, that will reside in my heart forever. The question I always get to ask myself is - What kind of energy am I bringing to any enrollment? Am I pushing people or am I pulling people? Neither is bad, and they are both useful at different times. For me, the key is being able to choose what I am leveraging in any given moment or conversation. Have you ever experienced yourself pushing something in terms of a conversation? A sign that I am pushing energy is that my conversation feels forced. I am trying to make something happen instead of allowing it to happen. I am working hard to create energy. Generally, the response to me pushing in the context of enrollment is that people tend to feel like I am on top of them. They feel pressure. I started this blog by stating that pushing is not a bad thing. There is a time to push. Inertia states that things in motion stay in motion. Things at rest stay at rest. If you have something at rest, you may get to push in order to get something back in motion, in order to create momentum. When I switch my come from and begin to pull while enrolling others versus pushing, I become more in alignment with every conversation. Instead of it being difficult, the conversation begins to flow. I allow people space to be heard, without losing my grounding on why what I have to offer matters. There is more connection when pulling someone into a space. It is the knowledge of how to do both and when to use both that creates the maximum power. You may have one that is easier for you than the other, so practice the one that is more of a stretch for you. Have you heard the old adage, it’s like pushing a rope uphill? That is a great image for this concept. You can push the rope or you can choose to come from another angle and pull the rope uphill. Choose the best strategy that gives you the most leverage at the moment. This is active non-resistance. “Enrolling someone is creating value for other people to do what it is you want them to do for their reasons,” Brian Klemmer. This is actively creating win-win scenarios for yourself and for others. The path may feel foreign yet when you begin to get muscle memory it makes making a difference on the planet so much more fun. This lesson is relevant in the area of enrollment and because enrollment is in everything, this lesson is relevant in all areas of life. If you aren’t pushing or pulling are you apathetic? Brian Klemmer used to always say that he would rather work with a person going 100 miles an hour in the wrong direction than someone who was standing still any day. Energy is energy and you can redirect someone going in the wrong direction far easier than getting someone who is stuck to move. There is a time and a place to push energy and there is a time and a place to pull. Looking for a practical application formula on how to pull people in enrollment instead of push? Check out the chapter on our Ultimate Sales Formula in Brian Klemmer’s book When Good Intentions Run Smack into Reality.

The choice between the viewpoints of victim and responsible is consistently going to be a decision with which we are faced. Have you ever thought, "I honestly am the victim in this situation!" Being a victim, in this context, is the viewpoint that something is being done to you. Being responsible is not about whether or not you were victimized, but your outlook on the situation. It is about creating the liberty for you to move forward in your life however you see fit. Two people that have been put in the exact same situation can choose either victim or responsible. It is not about the circumstances; it is always about your response to your circumstances. Coming from a victim mentality will create an experience for you that you are not in control, or that you were exploited. A responsible viewpoint will change your experience to power because you had a choice in life. Responsible empowers you and puts you back in the driver's seat of your own life. How do you transfer your experience from victim to responsible? Go through a list of all of the choices you made to put you in the circumstances you are currently in. Notice how you feel differently about the circumstances after looking at it from this vantage point. Not all of your feelings are necessarily going to be good. Neither the victim mentality, nor the responsible mentality is true AND both of these viewpoints have prices and benefits. This is simply an opportunity to choose the viewpoint that is going to release you to get to where you say you want to be, or get what you say you want.

We succeed or fail in virtually every area of our lives based on the decisions we make. Decisions often make us nervous because we realize there could be unfavorable consequences if we make the wrong choice. The potential outcome causes many people to rush, delay, or avoid a decision. With every decision we face, there is an optimal window of time to both make and implement the decision. This optimal time comes when we have had an opportunity to gather as much information and input as possible while all of our options are still open. Many people rush to make a decision because they don’t want to deal with the anxiety surrounding the analysis of the available choices. These people often make poor decisions with dire consequences because they did not have the benefit of quality information and input that would have helped them make a good choice had they simply taken the time to evaluate all of the resources available to them. Suppose you are planning an outdoor activity, and you are worried about inclement weather. There’s no reason to make a decision 30 days in advance if you have the opportunity to wait until the day before the event to get a clearer picture of weather conditions and the short-term forecast. Delaying a decision beyond the optimal window of time to make a choice can be as detrimental as rushing a decision. If a high school student is struggling to decide where to apply to college, there becomes a point when the application deadline begins to eliminate their available options. If you delay a decision, you will begin to lose options. If you postpone long enough, you will lose the opportunity to decide at all. Either rushing or delaying a decision will damage your ability to make good choices. The first decision you need to make is; when do you need to decide? You need to choose a date that will give you ample time to gather all pertinent information and evaluate it. And, you need to decide before deadlines, or other external forces, begin to erode your options. The worst way to handle a looming decision is to avoid it altogether. The people who avoid decisions are left with the least desirable options available or no options at all. If you avoid deciding what you want to enjoy in the banquet of life, you will find yourself eating leftovers or going hungry. As you go through your day today, commit to making the right decisions at the right time for the right reasons. Today’s the day! Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082; by email at Jim@JimStovall.com; on Twitter at www.twitter.com/stovallauthor; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jimstovallauthor.

Compliance vs Commitment: these are two very different kinds of motivation. Compliance is a fear based motivation. Usually when someone is in compliance they will finish the task, but their attitude around the task can be negative. Compliance can create results, and it usually is to the minimum necessary to avoid the consequences in place. Commitment on the other hand, is when the individual has something at stake, but the motivation is not fear. People who are committed have a connection to the purpose of their action. Committed people do what they say they are going to do whether or not it "feels good" to them in the moment. At Advanced Leadership we go through language for action on how to enroll people into being committed versus being in compliance. Another place to locate additional material on switching yourself or others from compliance to commitment is in Brian Klemmer's book, Eating the Elephant One Bite at a Time. Bringing yourself from being in compliance into commitment can be as simple as a choice. You get the opportunity to choose commitment every day.

Here in the 21st century, we have the ability to easily communicate with almost anyone, but the number of miscommunications, misunderstandings, and mishaps are multiplying rapidly. Often we assume something is so obvious that it goes without saying. Not only do we need to say it, but we need to communicate clearly and repeatedly to avoid misunderstandings and the resulting disasters. Following are just a few real warnings that have been put on various products. These warnings are not random or fictitious. They are put in place because someone didn’t heed the advice and suffered the consequences. Label on a sleep aid: May cause drowsiness. Label on a chainsaw: Do not hold wrong end of chainsaw. Label on a jet ski: Never use lit match or open flame to check fuel level. Label on hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. Label on blow torch gas bottle: Contents may catch fire. Label on cardboard sunshade for car dashboard: Do not drive with sun shield in place. Label on a letter opener: Safety goggles recommended. Label on a washing machine: Do not put any person in this washer. Label on Dremel power tool: This product is not intended for use as a dental tool. Label on a Superman costume: This product does not enable flight or super strength. Label on an iron: Do not iron clothes on body. Warning on website for iPod Shuffle: Do not eat. Label on a wheelbarrow: Not intended for highway use. Warning on a baby stroller: Remove child before folding. Label on a bottle of dog medication: May cause drowsiness. Use care when operating a car. Label on a dishwasher: Do not allow children to play in dishwasher. Label on a brass fishing hook: Harmful if swallowed. In addition to being sad, funny, and keeping lawyers happy, warning labels like those above remind us that we need to be clear, specific, and never take anything for granted. If there’s a right way to do something, most people will gravitate in that direction. However, if there’s a wrong way to do something, there are those among us who have to learn everything the hard way. In your communications, I’m warning you that you need to warn them. As you go through your day today, focus on what could happen, not what should happen. Today’s the day! Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082; by email at Jim@JimStovall.com; on Twitter at www.twitter.com/stovallauthor; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jimstovallauthor.

These columns have appeared for over two decades in newspapers, magazines, and online publications around the world. In more than a thousand columns, I have written on a myriad of topics and subjects, but every column—including the one you’re reading now—ends with the phrase, “Today’s the day.” It really doesn’t matter what you think about, dream about, or plan to do. The only thing that matters is what you do. Inspiration is important. It may be among the most valuable elements of our human experience, but without implementation, it is useless. I have a friend who I have known for almost 40 years. He has had hundreds of great ideas and lofty plans. Unfortunately, he has never carried any of them out. I’ve another friend who I have known even longer. He has had only one plan for his life that he has been committed to since we were teenagers. He has stayed committed to his single plan and has vigorously implemented it over these many years. It will not surprise you to know that he is far more successful than the friend with overflowing inspiration. If you have a thought, an idea, a calling, or a plan in your life, it means that you should do something today to make it a reality. Maybe you just read a book, research the topic, or reach out to make a new connection or contact, but you should not let the day get away from you without implementing your inspiration. Every day that goes by is critical to your goal. When you put your head on the pillow tonight, you will be either one day closer to or one day farther from your goal. Art critics worldwide, and anyone who has visited the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican and has viewed Michelangelo’s masterpiece painted on the ceiling, would agree that Michelangelo was filled with inspiration. Centuries later, that inspiration impacts everyone who experiences one of the most outstanding artistic achievements in history. There is a story about Michelangelo that has endured for hundreds of years. During the period he was working on his magnificent sculpture of David, he worked in a studio with other artists. As Michelangelo arrived one morning, he noticed all of the other artists were just sitting around doing nothing. When he inquired about it, the other artists told him they were waiting on inspiration. Michelangelo’s response speaks to us all, “Inspiration will find me already at work.” As you go through your day today, embrace your inspiration and take action. Today’s the day! Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082; by email at Jim@JimStovall.com; on Twitter at www.twitter.com/stovallauthor; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jimstovallauthor.