Living Win/Win: The Discipline Behind Self-Honor by Krystal Zellmer

Self-honor gets to be a win/win. Because if you’re the only one winning, it’s probably not as self-honoring as you think it is.

Let’s talk about it.

I’m a firm believer in the power of self-honor. But I’ve noticed something: the concept has been twisted. Misused. Justified. In some circles, “self-honor” has become a permission slip to indulge, avoid, or break trust with ourselves and others.

That’s not what true self-honor is.

Self-honor is not about selfishness. It’s not about comfort or escape.It’s about discipline. It’s about alignment. It’s about keeping your agreements with yourself and with others.

True self-honor is win/win. It considers your needs and the impact you’re committed to making. It’s knowing that you can't pour from an empty cup, but also remembering why you’re filling that cup in the first place...To contribute. To lead. To love well. To show up for the people and purpose that matter most.

Sometimes, in the name of “self-care,” we actually end up self-sabotaging. I came across a quote recently by Ryan Fisch that rocked me:

“There’s nothing ‘balanced’ about rewarding yourself with the same habits that made you miserable in the first place.”

Oof. Let that one sink in.

So, what does self-honor really look like?

It looks like doing what you said you would do.Not just when it’s easy or exciting—but when it’s inconvenient and uncomfortable.It might look like resting when your body truly needs it. Or it might look like getting up and keeping your word to yourself—even if Netflix is calling.

It’s not always intuitive, but it is powerful.

Self-honor is the foundation of leadership. When we honor ourselves with integrity and discipline, we build trust with ourselves and with those we lead. And when trust is present, impact is possible.

So today, if you want to honor yourself:

Follow through. Keep the agreement. Fuel your tank and stay in the game.

That’s self-honor. That’s win/win.